I don’t know if you feel the same way, but when I travel abroad, I usually think like this : “So what happens in this foreign land ? What beauties and traditions do they have that we don’t? What can I taste? What can I learn and bring home?”
So, as positive as it may sound, there is still this you / me separation. This is their land, and they are some other people. Deep inside, it’s been a few years that I don’t believe that separation anymore. But my brain still tries to keep its usual thinking going on. Something happened during my last travel, and I completed my shift. Let me explain and give a short background before I share with you my eye opening insight and the great potential it opens up to. If not interested by the “me time”, you can pass the italic paragraph… :p
Multiculturalism defines me although my parents are from the same country. I was born in Virginia USA, but only stayed there until I was 1,5 yo. My parents are both Turkish and Kemalist Muslims (secular, humanist, free thinkers who drink alcohol but don’t eat pork, because they decided so, and never obliged my sister and I to believe anything their way). So Turkish is my mother tongue and main culture, although I must have first heard, American doctors and nurses welcoming me on earth. I did learn English by watching Indiana Johns on a VHS (as my close friends know) every morning until the rest of the family would wake up. We went to live in Ankara, in a military base until I was 5yo, and than lived in Luxembourg (and went to a French school) until I left to France for the studies and stayed there. I have mostly travelled through European countries as it is closer to where I live, and thus cheaper. It was beautiful to discover Italy, Spain, Portugal, Ireland, England, Denmark… We went to Tunisia once, and that is as exotic as it got for me until 2017.
I am now 31 years old, and could for the first time; afford to go to Indonesia (Bali) for two weeks in June, and four days to Iceland (Reykjavik) for the new years. These days, my main traveling purpose is to see the treasures of Mother Nature that I haven’t seen before. And I have been very blessed during these two holidays, as forests and mountains opened up to my 5 senses and to my heart.
And it is during a road trip, after having been slapped on my face from all the directions by a crazy snowy wind at the volcanic Black Beach (south Iceland), that I had this shift reached completion in my mind. I felt at home. Iceland did not feel like someone else’s propriety, and Icelanders did not feel like “other people”. Facing the strength of Nature, ready to swallow me while giving me generously all it has in the stomach, I felt it to my bones : I am made by the same elements as anything else on this Earth. Our ingredients all come from the same place. We are all forms, as Eckhart Tolle often says, that nature could take. We are all alternatives to the potential of creativity of Nature (or energy, or existence, or God, or whatever you like to call the source of life).
After you’ve gotten far enough (according to you) into knowing your inner self (how brain works, how body works, how psychology works, how social interactions and communication work, how you became who you are and how you can change for better…), you get to the point where you are ready to want to know yourself on the outside.
Travelling is a great way to do that: you visit the other rooms of your Home, and meet your other brothers and sisters you hadn’t met yet.
It is beautiful to hear them talk in a language you don’t understand while knowing for sure, that those sounds makes sense to them. It reminds that us not understanding something doesn’t mean there is nothing there. 90% of the time we think we communicate with people speaking our own languages, we are only trying to interpret and judge what they seam to express through our own personal filters (that we have probably not even acknowledged ourselves because we lacked of the tools to do so).
To start really communicating with someone, you need to spend hours and hours, to discover through which heritages and life experiences, his or her, inner world of meanings, values, beliefs, choice of vocabulary and expressions, experience of emotions, personal strategies to get what they need; all this thing we we reductively call personality, has built up.
You can unconditionally love everyone by seeing that they are a form of life doing its best with what he/she got, that you’d do the same at their place, and that they are a mirror of differences that help us learn things without having to experience everything on our own. You can Love all existing life form for that.
But that kind of true Love does not mean you need to enjoy their company at every moment, let them do what they want in your life, and spend time with them.
What truly brings us together, is not a language, a nationality, a geography, a religion, a family name, a skin colour, a gender…
We come together through attractions guided by :
- our needs
- our fears
- what we love and enjoy
- our beliefs
- our values
- the phases of life cyle’s we’re in at that period of time
Me-time 2 😜 : These days, I want to be surrounded by happy people who live egoless lives of love and give back to the world through their lifestyles, projects, and just the way they are. I want to surf on that energy, learn from them, give them back what may bring us together, and open up my own expression of generosity. That’s the phase I feel like I am entering. But before that, in 2016 and 2017, I needed to confront the limitations of my life (in relationships, in professional projects, in my body), until I would see that all those things were results of my own choices. I had needed challengers around me, and some mentors. Now, I feel like making friends.
Life is about love, exploration and progress. Processing our experiences and learnings to lead better lives. By freeing ourselves from the boxes we think we have to belong to, and from the loves we think we have to feel, we clear the room for our personal true loves.
I am not writing this to convince anyone of anything. I believe some of us (those of us who speak of impossibilities) still need to reach their inner security and acceptance, but they got to get stronger than others on other points. No one is better than anyone else. We are all yin and yang. We need to respect each other’s life rhythms and phases, as we also need to respect Mother (or Father who knows ^^) Nature’s rhythms better. It’s heart beat is getting faster and faster. It’s no coincidence; half of humanity wants to do medidation and yoga. We want what we need, and slowing down, digesting, seeing and focusing is what I think we need. At least, that is what I enjoy.
I am writing this, because what I experienced felt great. Feeling at home everywhere, and able to open and close the right doors at any time, to protect my freedom… something I wish for every living being. I am writing this also, so the ones who feel and think like me know they are not alone, so we can gather, and embrace our Truth stronger together, developing the muscles of our Love, and diminishing the power of our fears on our lives. Not through battles and wars. That does not feel like a healthy energy. That is the last resort of the survivor. We don’t need to invalidate any one to embrace our own truths. Defending ourselves better is something we need to learn for sure, while starting to live accordingly to our values and beliefs. It is time, I think, for the outer Self explorers (as I was mentioning before) living in warless and faminless countries to be generous and strong, not destructive.
Fear is healthy, when it is there to protect us, and to remind us to take our times and digest each phase as long as it needs digestion. But inherited fears… it is time we let go of them and authorize our selves to take better care of our world and our people, to enjoy more of their companies, to unleash our positive creativity and fun.
To all of my Sisters and Brothers, to all the beautiful rooms of our Home, yet to discover and care for: I love you. And happy new year! 😘